Cliches, Stereotypes, and Formulas (Part 2)

By Lynn Harrod

Greetings fellow filmmakers and film buffs. This is Part 2 of my article on Movie Cliches, Stereotypes, Archetypes, and Formulas. In that article, I suggest not to turn your nose up at cliches, formulaic dreck, and other hack material, as we students of cinema so often do, but to study them, to master them, so that you can avoid them at times, exploit them at others.

Nothing is more fun than playing with the audience's expectations, and the cliche can be a valuable tool to that end.

Below are my own contributions to Roger Ebert's Little Movie Glossary. See if you can spot them in the next film you watch. See if you can nail a few of your own.

-----------------

LAST HAND WINS
In every card game in any film, the last player to show his hand is the winner.

MOVIE POKER MAGIC
In movies, card players always get amazing hands (Kings full). If a player loses, it's only because his opponent got an even more amazing hand (Aces full).

RICH SCHOOL, POOR SCHOOL
In movies about a maverick teacher that inspires his/her students: If the school is rich (i.e. ivy league private school), the teacher will be forced to quit and move away by the end of the film, though the students have surely be enlightened. If the school is poor (i.e. inner city public school), the teacher will be applauded and continue to enrich the students. For rich schools, see "Dead Poets Society" and "Mona Lisa Smile." For poor schools, see "Lean On Me," "Stand and Deliver," and "Dangerous Minds."

POSH SADIST SHOPS
Particularly in comedies, fancy restaurants and upscale boutiques are always run by sadistic, contemptuous people who are not content to just refuse service, but must also humiliate and degrade the blue-collar hero(es).

BETROTHED TO A BEAST
A woman is set to wed a man in an arranged marriage. The groom-to-be is bald, fat, hairy, a complete jerk, and stinkin' rich. The woman's family insists she marry him because of his wealth and status, but she loves another man, a poor hunk that treats her like a queen. Inevitably, she chooses the poor hunk. Sometimes, in an effort to appear original... Surprise! The poor hunk is actually stinkin' rich, too! (See "Sweet Home Alabama.")

MILITARY CLARITY
When two characters are arguing, and one outranks the other in an army/militia/tribe/mob/cult, the argument ends with one firmly telling the other "Is that CLEAR??" This three-word question always demands respect and reminds the other character who is in charge, mister, even if the situation dictates otherwise.

THE HERMIT WARRIOR
A highly-trained expert in warfare is sought out for an impossible mission. Government agents track him down only to find he's become a recluse living in the wilderness, haunted by that one last mission gone wrong. They beg him to come out of "retirement" because apparently he's the only human being capable of whatever they need done. (See "Rambo," "The Hunted," "Shooter.") Also applies to recluse scientists ("The Core") and computer hackers ("Swordfish").

FOUND ART GAG
In comedies, a character in a museum tries to impress his girlfriend by commenting on an abstract sculpture. After his profound appraisal of the piece, a custodian walks up and takes it away, revealing it was actually piping/trash/equipment he was working with.

HOME-FREE BEACH
To show that a criminal has completely gotten away with a crime/heist/caper scot-free, the film ends with drinks and pats on the back on a beach in a foreign country. (See "Trading Places," "Office Space," "Enemy of the State," and even "The Shawshank Redemption.")

CUSHY CONVENIENT DUMPSTER
When a hero seemingly has no means of escape from a high rooftop there will always be a trash dumpster far below to jump into. The dumpster will always be large, its doors open, and full of Hefty bags filled with cushy paper trash.

MOUNTAIN TRUCKERS
During a car chase on a narrow mountain cliff road, Hero will be separated from his nemesis by a number of cars. When he tries to pass the cars, a semi-truck will suddenly pop up around the corner, horn blaring, and nearly send him to his demise. This same semi-truck also appears when two characters are racing each other on a cliff road.

THE IRRESISTIBLE MAN-IN-DRAG
Whenever a man must dress as a woman against his will, other men must hit on him. The uglier and more obvious the man appears in drag, the more wildly attractive he is to his fellow man. The more repulsed he is to be dressed this way, the more blunt the flirtations are that he gets.

ONE-NAIL TRAFFIC SIGNS
A sign posted at a fork in the road will consist of a large arrow pointing the way to the hero's destination. This arrow is not painted, but rather a separate piece of the sign, held in place by a single nail in its gravitational center. The sign is inevitably knocked over, spinning the arrow around, forcing the hero to guess which way to go. The correct path is NEVER guessed. First pioneered in cartoons, the one-nail traffic sign has made many appearances in movies. See "Jurassic Park," "Quick Change."

GERMANS IN A HURRY
German bad guys in action movies always yell "Schnell!" to each other in repetition, and often not much else in their native language.

GOOD JUDGE OF CHARACTER
Whenever someone says he is a good judge of character, it means he is anything but. The person(s) he trusts always turn out to be double-crossing back-stabbers. (See "Jurassic Park.")

SPEAK NOW OR FOREVER HOLD THE CLICHE
In movie weddings, the minister must always pause the ceremony to ask "If there is anyone present who thinks this marriage should not take place, let him speak now or forever hold his peace." Someone ALWAYS objects. If they do not object immediately, there is a long silence while everyone looks around the room at each other. The minister then continues "By the power vested in me, I now pronounce you man and---" At this point someone runs in breathlessly and shouts out to dramatically halt the ceremony... ONE word from completion!

WRONG NUMBER FLIRT
A character gathers the courage to call the girl he loves. On an impulse, he grabs the phone, dials her number, and immediately spouts sweet nothings into the phone before she can say a word. This always results in Romeo discovering to his horror that he dialed a wrong number, and is actually talking to a 400 lb. hairy man smoking a stogie.

HUNGRY CORONERS
Coroners in movies are always eating sandwiches, particularly during a grizzly autopsy. While other characters are nauseous and ready to vomit, the coroner will bite into a sloppy meatball sub as he leans over the rotted, splayed corpse.

BRAIN SCAN OBJECTIVE VIEW
Whenever memories are read/scanned/viewed using high-tech equipment, the viewpoint is third-person, not the point-of-view of the character. This is obviously due to advanced brain-scanning technology.

VIDEO GAME HOMAGE
In the movies, every video game, no matter the type of game or how advanced or realistic, uses sound effects from ONE real-life game: The 1982 Atari 2600 version of Pac Man. The scene almost always ends with the sound of Pac Man losing a life.

FAST FOOD HAT RULE
In movies, all fast food restaurant employees wear ridiculous over-the-top hats, usually in the shape of a hamburger, hot dog, or other food. If the employee is delivering an order, their car also wears an equally ridiculous "hat."

PSYCHIC BARTENDER
Whenever anyone orders a beer in a bar, a brand or size is never mentioned. "Gimme a beer" is enough for the bartender to immediately serve a cold one. Clearly, the bartender is clairvoyant. This also explains why no one actually pays the bartender, because he has ascertained through his mental powers that the customer wants to open a tab.

THE TWO TYPES OF ENEMIES
In action movies, there are two types of enemies the Hero will fight: 1) Goons with glass jaws and magnetic bodies, who fall cold when punched and seem to attract bullets, 2) Bosses that approach being superhuman, who can dodge bullets and give and take the most brutal beatings before coming to a spectacular demise.

IVY LEAGUE MONOPOLY
In the movies, unless the story is about a particular school, only two universities are ever mentioned: Harvard and Yale.

CATCHER SUPREME
To illustrate the hero's high level of training and skill, an object is thrown at them with great force, so that they may expertly catch it with one hand, without looking. A twist to this technique is to use a blade/sword to slice the speeding object in half. See "Kill Bill," "Mr. and Mrs. Smith," "Peaceful Warrior," "A League of Their Own."

CHINESE TAKEOUT MONOPOLY
Whenever someone, usually an eclectic group, burns the midnight oil at the office, they sit around a conference table eating Chinese takeout out of those little folded white boxes ("oyster pails"). Neckties are undone, collars are loosened, and chopsticks are always faithfully used.

DRINK THE TIME AWAY
Related to the Chinese Takeout Monopoly. When it must be shown that time is passing during a mundane activity (reading, studying, working at the office), the characters will at some point be drinking and eating. See Gandolf in "Lord of the Rings," Peter Falk in "The Princess Bride," and virtually any courtroom drama.

AUTISTIC SAVANTS ABOUND
Ever since "Rain Man," every autistic child in film or TV is also a savant, possessing an extraordinary gift, such as a photographic memory or genius-level math skills. In real life this is a rare occurrence.

GIRLY SISTERS, MACHO BROTHERS
If a movie revolves around a group of brothers, they're tough guys from the wrong side of the tracks. If a movie revolves around a group of sisters, they're upper-middle class suburbanites.

"HE DESIGNED IT"
In thrillers, when a character has the upper hand, surprising everyone with detailed knowledge of a machine/computer/compound/military strategy, someone will ask "How the hell does he/she know that?" Another character will sheepishly reply, "He designed it." See "Flight Plan," "The Abyss," "Live Free or Die Hard," "Star Trek II," and "Prison Break."

[Lynn Harrod is a filmmaker, a seasoned screenwriter of twelve years. His work has placed in the Nicholl Screenwriting Fellowship, the Writers' Network Screenplay Competition, the FadeIn Awards, and the Nevada Film Office Screenwriting Competition. Lynn is a staff writer for IFLA.]